Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Bizarro Ending: The Season 6 Finale of "Smallville"

“A Phantom went down to Kansas; he was looking for DNA to steal.
He was in a bind, ‘cause he was way behind, and needed a Clark Kent meal.”

Anyway, Season 6 of “Smallville” is in the books. I frequently criticize the show. I often ask myself why I still watch. Nonetheless, I went out of my way to catch the season finale.

It took him 6 years, but Clark Kent finally (well, sort of) told Lana Lang the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. He told her that he’s an alien, sent to Earth by his birth parents just before their home planet of Krypton exploded.

Of course, Clark, in a rare display of intelligence and sound judgment, left out the fact that his arrival also brought with it the kryptonite meteor shower that killed Lana’s parents. Honesty is the best policy . . . except when honesty means telling the woman you love that you were the unwitting cause not only of her parents’ death but also every kryptonite-related incident that’s caused her other significant trauma. Just an opinion, but I don't think there's any "right time" to reveal that sort of information.

For those of you keeping score this includes her being: stalked; kidnapped; frequently hospitalized; manipulated into marrying Lex Luthor; and being convinced that she’d suffered a miscarriage only to discover that she’d been tricked into thinking she was pregnant in the first place. So, no, we’re not talking about Clark’s telling her that he used his x-ray vision to sneak a peek at her in the girl’s locker room back when they were in high school. (Yes, Clark did that, too. Yikes.)

Lois Lane made further strides into becoming the intrepid reporter that many of us know and love. She took an active role in investigating and researching a story (and this one didn’t even involve a flying barn door). She also ended up getting in a little bit over her head, also arguably a Lois Lane trademark. Let me clarify that by “a little bit over her head”, I mean “brutally stabbed”. I guess that qualifies as two steps forward and one step back.

We finally learned what Chloe Sullivan’s kryptonite-induced power is. Her tears have the power to heal. Chloe found her cousin’s (Lois) body. She turned on the water works, a teardrop hit Lois, and both young women were enveloped in a bright light. The glow left Lois healed and Chloe seemingly comatose. It also left supporters of the Chlois theory wondering if this was foreshadowing, a “shout out”, or a deliberate act of cruelty on the part of the show’s creative team. I think it was a “shout out”, and nothing more.

About Chlois, it’s my opinion that it just ain’t gonna happen. The creative team has been pretty clear about it in interviews. They’ve said that the show’s iconic “Big Three” are Clark, Lex, and Lois. All three are misunderstood by those around them and unsure about their futures. They have also experienced interruptions in their education, and have had complex relationships with arguably tyrannical father figures. Writer Steven DeKnight stated that “Lois is from the myth of being very strong, classically pig-headed, and taking her father, Sam Lane, straight from the comic books. With Lex it was a little different because Lionel was created for the show. For Clark, problems with Jor-El . . .”

DeKnight went on to state that “Smallville’s” Lois Lane is “very much the classic, shoot from the hip, get-into-trouble Lois.” He said that the writers were deliberately setting up a contrast between her journalistic approach and that of Chloe.

Look, Chlois is an interesting notion, but I think it’s going to remain relegated to the ranks of fan fiction.

Lexana (the relationship between Lex Luthor and Lana Luthor [nee Lang]) had a pretty rough night. Methinks that ship has sailed (pun intended). Lana told Lex that she knew she was never pregnant. She told Lex that he was incapable of love, and that Clark meant more to her than Lex ever will. Finally, she revealed to Lex that she’d lied when she said she found bald men sexy. (Okay, I made that last one up.) Lex did not take this well, at all. He slapped Lana, who left the Luthor mansion only to (apparently) perish when her SUV explodes. And if you think Lana’s really dead, I’ve got some choice land on Krypton I’d just love to sell you.

Lex got pulled over by some state troopers and charged with the murder of Lana Luthor. Sigh. Billionaire evil geniuses aren't supposed to go out like this.

Oh, yeah, there was some non-soap opera stuff, as well. The last escapee from the Phantom Zone made an appearance. He’s a Kryptonian experiment gone wrong and needed a Kryptonian body to sustain him. (That means you, Clark) He had a brief fight with the Martian Manhunter (revealed as a former officer of Jor-El, the biological father that Clark often wishes wouldn't bother) and he literally punched right through the mean green martian machine.

It was revealed that Lionel Luthor has been functioning as an emissary for the late, great Jor-El (the biological father that Clark often wishes wouldn’t bother).

Anyway, the last Zoner ended up stealing Clark’s DNA. He was transformed into . . . Tom Welling dressed in black and with an evil grin on his face. Yawn. The Zoner fought Clark, revealed that green kryptonite actually makes him stronger, and knocked out Lionel Luthor. He also spouted one of the lamest tag lines ever after Clark asked him what he was. He responded “I’m you, only a little more bizarre.” Riiiight . . .

Finally, “Bizarro” demonstrated just how far behind the curve Clark truly is. Although he’d only had Clark’s DNA for a couple of minutes, Bizarro ended the episode and the season by flying away from the aptly named Reeves Dam. By all appearances and accounts, Clark Kent, who's always had his DNA, remains earth-bound.

I’m not so much looking forward to Season 7 as I am resigned to the fact that I’ll probably be a faithful viewer of this show right up until the bitter end. Yikes.


Anonymous said...

oba - not to demean an outstanding write-up, but the bizarro character was not dressed in black, unless it was (maybe) black pants. clark typically wears a blue shirt and a red cape...i mean jacket. so bizarro was dressed in the opposite - a blue jacket and a red shirt.

beyond that, i'll offer my view on the chlois theory, which you recently introduced me to: i think what the writers should do NOW, for the start is season 7, is the kill off the chloe sullivan character, but have her spirit / essence / whatnot transferred into lois via that teardrop trick. that way, chlois is a reality in the show, literally and figuratively, right away. plus, it would allow for jimmy olsen to be the unick he always was in the superman comics, since he wouldn't have a little girl-friend to come back to once he returns from his road trip to wherever they sent him, not that anyone really cares.

and again, double snaps to lana for telling lex that bald is not the new black. watching her run from the luthors next year might make the show worth watching again...


oba said...


We're going to have to go to the video tape on this one. I'm pretty sure that Bizarro was wearing all black.

I think you're in denial with respect to Chlois.

I agree with you about Jimmy Olsen. Speaking of Jimmy, this is another reason that the Chlois theory doesn't quite seem right. Chlois means that Superman is, um, taking up where Jimmy Olsen left off. I'm not too fond of that idea.

Lana certainly did put Lex in his place. That being said, I'm waiting for Lex to actually start acting like a competent criminal mastermind. (I recognize that with how frequently he's been knocked unconscious that post-concussion syndrome may be an issue.) If Smallville's Lex Luthor ever talks about taking over the world it will put me in mind of "Pinky and the Brain". Actually, I may have taken them more seriously.

oba said...

One more thing . ..

As far as Chloe's power goes, I applaud "Smallville" for finally coming up with a superhuman ability that's potentially more useless than Wondertwin Zan or Arm-Fall-Off Boy.

Tears that can heal, but leave you comatose. I can just see it now. Someone's been shot, and the paramedics arrive at the scene. They place the victim on a stretcher and prepare to take him to the nearest hospital.

Super Chloe steps out of the crowd.

Paramedic: Help us, Super Chloe.

Super Chloe: I believe I can save this man.

Paramedic: Is there anything we can do to help?

Super Chloe: Yes, spray me in the face with mace or bring me some onions and a peeling knife. I've got some serious crying to do.

Crowd: We love you, Super Chloe.

El Mundo De Monte Mendoza said...

I am a VERY big fan of "Smallville". I do admit, however, that the Kryptonite storylines can get old. I can see how Kryptonite makes for many plotline potentials. I recently watched seasons 3, 4 and 5 on DVD. I had already watched seasons 1 and 2 on DVD. I also watched them when they were aired live, of course. One thing that fans know is that when someone dies on "Smallville, it doesn't mean they are gone forever. Chloe walked into a safehouse in a previous season finale. When she closed the door to the house, the home exploded. It seemed that Chloe was gone for sure. She was actually taken below ground, and through a tunnel to safety. She was kept safe that way to testify against Lionel Luther in his murder trial. At the end of season six, Lois was dead. Chloe's tear brought Lois back to life but took the life from Chloe. It appears as though Chloe is dead. I can see two ways she could be brought back. One, when her tear brings someone back and Chloe dies, she may need 12 or 24 hours to regain her life force. Two, she may remain dead UNTIL she comes in contact with Kryptonite, which would regenerate her and allow her to use her ability again. Lois seems to have died in that car explosion. However, is it possible that The Martian Manhunter was there to save her before the explosion? I think that Chloe is a great character. She has helped Clark many times. I hope that Lana survived the explosion. I look forward to season seven. (5/28/07 8:25 AM)

Assassin said...

Well I have finally found a good blog...Oba you are right he was in all black until the end when his face went ice blue. No Lana is not dead that white mail truck that just so happened to pass by her car right before it exploded hmmmm...a lil to convient to me. As bad as I would like to have Chloe live long enough for her and Clark to test the waters more than the one kiss they have had at prom...I don't think its gonna happen...50% chance shes dead, 30% chance shes comatose, 20% chance she will regain strength over time. Season 7 I see as being clark going into his training after he deals with bizarro. Lionel is going to have to die somehow if we go by comic book guessin he'll be used someone how to instil knowledge into clark and die or either lex will kill him off prolly blammin him for lana. I got a feeling where Chloe's tear is what brought Lois back might transfer some of Chloe's feelings for clark and push the lois clark relationship a lil further....I know they are only signed for 7 seasons but they are going to have to to some serious loose end tieing up here shortly. Like oba said Clark is way behind the learning curve....and hes just starting to use his powers besides strength in battle and he still hasn't let the training begin!

Anonymous said...

okay, i caught the last few minutes of the series 6 finale again last night, and it's pretty obvious that bizarro clark is NOT in all black. he very clearly has a very dark blue jacket and a very dark red (almost maroon) shirt - the opposite of regular clark. when it got wet with all the damage to the dam, i'll allow that it might have looked black, but i'm disappointed that more viewers did not appreciate this very obvious reference / allusion to the reality of the bizarro character.....that he's the opposite of clark / superman...